Saturday, October 30, 2010

Bullies and parents

Let me preface this post with this disclaimer- these are MY thoughts only. I have NO evidence or experiences to back this up. These are only MY thoughts...

Bullying is a situation that is in the news quite a bit lately. As the mother of a 6 year old, I am very aware of bullying and the consequences it has on children. We have been very lucky so far not to have any bullying issues with my son.

But, a situation occurred to me this week that made think about bullies. I found the following description of bullying, which I think is pretty clear:

Bullying behavior may include name calling, verbal or written abuse, exclusion from activities, exclusion from social situations, physical abuse, or coercion. Bullies may behave this way to be perceived as popular or tough or to get attention. They may bully out of jealousy or be acting out because they themselves are bullied.

When we hear about a bullying situation with children, we tell the kids to tell a parent or a an authority figure, such as a teacher or principal. We then rely on that authority figure to put an end to the bullying. Often that authority figure talks to the parent about the child, and asks the parent to help end the bullying.

But what if the parent themselves is a bully? Yep- there are parents out there who bully, or try to bully, other adults. Usually, parents don't engage in physical bullying like kids do- parents most often engage in verbal, social or cyber bullying. So how do you expect that parent to help stop the behavior of their kids when they are engaging in that same behavior? Of course, I bet most parents who engage in bullying would say that they would NEVER bully anyone and wouldn't condone their kids being a bully. But, actions speak louder than words.

Believe, I am not saying that I am a perfect parent... Hubby and I often say that we aren't putting money in a college fund, it's going into a future therapy fund. These are just some thoughts that occurred to me after what could be perceived as a social and cyber bullying event this week. They are MY thoughts, and MY thoughts only...

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I'm NOT perfect

Breaking News: I am NOT perfect...

Lately, it seems that because I am a Disney fan, I am expected to be perfect- I shouldn't curse, I should always be overly chipper and unfailingly polite.

Guess what- I fail all three of those criteria. I have been known to curse a little (or sometimes a lot). I try not to do it around children, but it happens. And I think that anyone who knows me will quickly agree that I am more along the lines of sarcastic and snarky than chipper and polite. But this doesn't make me a bad person.

Being a Disney fan doesn't mean you have to be perfect. Yes, Disney has an image of family friendly, but they too have a little bit darker side. They own ABC, which produces shows like Desperate Housewives. They have produced the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, which include drinking and cursing. And even good ol' Walt liked an occasional cigarette and drink. And I'll bet there was some less than 'family friendly' language used in some Disney board meetings.

I have many friends who are Disney fans- and none of them are perfect either. I am a Disney fan- not a Disney employee. I do not represent Disney in any fashion. And being a Disney fan isn't the only thing that defines me. I love NASCAR racing, kickboxing, running, reading, my family... the list goes on. Being a Disney fan is one part of who I am.

It's taken me 35 years to become really happy with who I am- imperfections and all.