Lately the thought of my upcoming birthday has been on my mind. And for some reason, the thought of turning 36 (yes, I said my age- GASP!) really kind of bothers me.
I've never been bothered by my age before. I've never lied about it or anything to appear younger. And goodness know, I certainly don't act my age- that concept is way over-rated. So why is this one bothering me? I didn't care when I turned 21- except for being able to drink. 30 was no big deal. Heck, even 35 didn't matter. So why 36? It's such an odd age to be bothered by.
I think it has to do with the fact that I am now closer to 40 than I am 30. Wow, writing that makes it seem even worse. But I get that these are all just numbers and really don't mean much.
As I get older, I learn who I am more. I am more and more comfortable with being me- the good, the bad, and the ugly. When I looked at some pictures from our recent cruise, I noticed a few wrinkles around my eyes when I smiled. Eh- that's life. I know more about what I like and don't like. I've really thought about what I want out of life. I've learned that no one out there is perfect- and often it's those imperfections in people that make them the great person they are. I am more accepting of people than I was before. These are all great things that come with ~gulp~ getting older.
When I look at it this way, I wonder why this birthday bothers me. I still don't know- but for whatever reason, this birthday is gonna hurt. Oh well... Maybe I'll just celebrate it with a couple of drinks like I'm 21 and won't care.